I used to be VERY independent. Even as a child, I wanted to do everything on my own. I could do it and I didn’t need anyone’s help. When T and I first met, I had been through a horrible breakup that took years to get over. I was back to being fiercely independent because I figured that if you relied on people, they let you down.
We were dating long distance, so it was easy for me to maintain my independence. He did his own thing, I did my own thing, and we talked about our lives together on Skype. We would get together for weekends every 6 or 7 weeks and spend every waking moment together. I was stubborn and still very very independent. I would fight to pay the dinner bill, open my own doors, plan our dates, choose where we went. I didn’t want to give up any bit of my control.
The longer we dated, the more comfortable we got with each other. The more we wanted to spend every waking moment with each other. When he moved here, I was a little bit terrified inside. What if spending every moment together proved to be insanity?! What if we couldn’t stand being together all the time? We did some serious head butting when he moved in, picking furniture, building Ikea furniture (the true test to a relationship), sorting out chores.
But it’s funny the way it worked. We really enjoyed being together. I really enjoyed being with him. And that desire for me to have everything exactly my way and under my complete control was waning (T may still not agree with this statement). I used to think nothing of it to head downtown by myself or with a few girlfriends. Now, I’m often finding I really wished he could come with me. It’s been an evolution of myself.
T’s travelling for 4 days for work and it’s strange without him. I miss him being around. I miss going places with him and doing things. I know some people maintain that need for independence forever even with their spouse and I fully thought I’d be one of those people. But I’m not. We’re going to be one of those old couples who do everything together. And I’m happy about that.
xox
b
